Alan believes in a Britain which is cleaner, richer, smarter, and less crowded.

Health
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Alan will seek an end to the current NHS system.  Alan will reduce the scope of the NHS from a 'cradle to grave' system to a first line care system.  GPs will diagnose illnesses, and treat very minor cases.  Beyond that, hospitals will be run privately and will charge for their services.  Everyone will have to hold their own medical insurance.

Alan will institute a complete public no-smoking ban.  Chewing gum will be taxed to pay for cleaning it up.  Repeat offenders of gum spitting will be forced to clean streets of gum using a toothpick.

Welfare
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Alan does not believe in the nanny state.  Benefits, tax credits, and so on will be trimmed to discourage the welfare loafers.

Pensions
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Alan believes that people should save for their own pension, and that it is not the responsibility of the state to care for them if they do not.  This policy will be instituted gradually over the next 40 years to allow people time to adjust.  The retirement age will be abolished.

Education
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Alan does not accept that state education is the best way forward.  Alan will bring forward policies to increase the number of high quality private schools available, gradually trimming the size of the state sector.  Alan acknowledges the hard work that teachers do, but is certain that a teacher's primary role is to teach, not to manage.  Heads will be required to have taken formal MBA (or equivalent) training, and all teaching department heads will be required to have budget handling and staff management training.

Alan wants to see a return to a form of National Service at the age of 16, for a minimum of 12 months.  Service could include service in the armed forces, charitable work (at home or abroad) or environmental and conservation work.

Alan believes that the expansion of the university sector is diluting the quality of the graduates in the UK.  

Unions
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Union representatives will have hot coals placed under their skin.  Fat pompous northern bastids who think that they will stop Britain working will be fed to rabid weasels.

Crime
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Alan will produce policies to increase by a factor of 10 the number of drug rehabilitation places available within the UK.  Alan believes that prison is about rehabilitation for 90% of offenders.  Alan seeks legislation to increase the range of job opportunities after jail, offering high levels of literacy, numeracy and IT training to all inmates.  Prison Aftercare policies will relocate offenders if they wish and will offer support until they find their feet.

Childcare
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Alan wants mandatory parenting classes for anyone planning to have children, and written examinations without which parenting would not be supported by the state - no childcare, no .  Alan believes this would weed out within 2 generations the scourge of chavdom.

Alan believes that raising a child is the duty of 2 parents, whatever their colour, race or sexual orientation.  Homosexual partners who are married will be entitled to raise children just as heterosexual partners are.

Environment
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Alan wants to see more widespread concern for the environment.  He seeks a law which requires new build houses to have solar panels fitted, and substantially increased subsidies for panel installation on old builds.

Alan will require the immediate closure of all UK fisheries that are affected by stock collapse.  Alan will allow the explosive harpooning of Japanese, Icelandic and Norwegian tourists to help get the message through to those countries about whaling.

Transport:
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Alan does not believe that pricing people off the roads will achieve the goals it is claimed to.  Alan will offer tax breaks to low emission and high economy vehicles, and will seek to bring legislation making it easier for rail companies to extend the rail routes in the UK, even if this entails forcible repurchase of property and land.

Alan will raise the speed limit on motorways to 90mph, and on A roads to 70mph.  

All motorists will be required to retake their test every 10 years.  Motorists over the age of 65 will be required to do so every 5 years.

Alan will ban the current policy of extending 30mph and 40mph to 5 miles outside every village in the area, and will allow public flogging of caravan drivers deemed to have held up traffic.


Defence
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Alan believes in a strong military.  The Navy will be returned to a strength of 3 Fleet carriers, and the army and air force will be properly equipped instead of struggling by.

Alan will purge the MOD's back office support branch of all the idle scroungers and loafers it has accumulated over the last 30 years.

Alan will re-organise defence contracts to ensure that any faults found in any British weapons system are fully tested on the directors of defence companies.

Entertainment and The Arts
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Alan believes that chav TV is affecting the brains of so many that it is time to do something about it.  The BBC's charter will be extended and the licence will remain.  


Business
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Alan believes that small business is the key motor for industry.  50% of the UK's population work in small businesses.  Alan would make all earnings in small business non-taxable for their first 5 years.  Taxation would start at a turnover of £500,000.  Legislation would be firmly dealt with using a bonfire.

Taxation
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Alan calculates that with the reduced burdens on the state, and the firing of 500,000 civil servants at central and local government level, taxation should drop from 68% of overall earnings for an average family to 35%.  This means an end to VAT (less paperwork all round), a basic 15% tax rate up to £60,000 p/a, and a higher 30% tax rate.  It also means an end to 11% National Insurance (no NHS) - instead a 3% figure is more realistic.

Pensions would be exempt from tax.  Death duties would be abolished.  